From Grief to Creation
“When we open our heart to love, and that attachment becomes severed due to death, we come to grief. Grief is the flip side of the love coin. A natural, normal human response to when someone we love dies.”
Grief is an unpredictable force that doesn’t check the schedule before it shows up in your life. The same month I lost my mom, I was invited to 4 weddings, including my first cousin’s. Between outfits, events, and motherhood, my grief had no opportunity to breathe during the day, so it would come flooding out in the middle of the night. I would cry myself to sleep or have dreams of her and wake up in full blown panic attacks. I knew I needed to do something for myself.
I decided to join a grief support group in order to make space and time to grieve. In one of our sessions, the grief counsellor asked us to present a physical item that reminded us of our deceased loved one. Some people shared clothing items, a wedding dress, a hearing aid, and I decided to share my mom’s measuring tape (“inchy tape”, as it was called in our house). A staple wardrobe piece, wrapped around her neck most evenings as she worked on her sewing projects. I wrapped the measuring tape around my neck as she used to wear it and shared why it reminded me of her. In that moment, it made me feel close to her. My grief sparked my inspiration to get my hands on her sewing machine, something I hadn’t used in over a decade.
My mom’s sewing machine. It was a foundational piece of our dining room table, always present. It was a symbol of the creativity and care she brought into our home. Every meal, every gathering, every dinner table conversation—the machine was close by, waiting on the floor to take its place back on to the table. Its presence was as constant as hers, quietly reminding me of the way she stitched not only fabric but the fabric of our family life.
Growing up, I saw her hands move deftly over its surface, crafting garments with love and precision. Sewing was her escape, her expression, and a way to bring her family together to solve a problem. I never gave it much thought before her passing, but when she was gone, the machine began to take on a new meaning for me.
One day, in a moment of yearning to feel close to her again, I decided to set up the machine on my dining table. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was doing, but I could feel her presence as I parsed through her tools. Slowly, stitch by stitch, I began to find a sense of peace and purpose.
The sewing machine, once a tool for her creativity, became the key to unlocking mine. What started as a way to heal my broken heart slowly grew into something bigger. I began making simple pieces—small, quiet gestures of creativity. But as I practiced and my confidence grew, so did my ambitions. I realized that this machine and my newfound passion for sewing weren’t just about honouring my mother’s memory; they were about building a future that would carry her spirit forward.
It was then that I decided to create something for myself, and too, something bigger than me. I wanted to design vibrant, intricate garments that reflected my heritage and celebrated life’s most joyous occasions. I knew my mother would have loved to see the creativity that came from her foundation, from the very machine that was the centrepiece of our home.
Every design I create is infused with her spirit. Every stitch I make carries with it the love and care she brought to our family. Fashion has become more than just clothing for me; it’s a form of expression, a tribute, and a way to keep her legacy alive. When I sit at the sewing machine now, it no longer feels like I’m looking back in grief—it feels like I’m moving forward with her, crafting something beautiful from the love she left behind.
This journey from grief to creation has been one of the most profound experiences of my life. It’s taught me that loss doesn’t have to be an end; it can be a beginning. Through my work, I am able to celebrate my mother’s life, my culture, and the enduring power of love and creative vitality.
I look forward to sharing this journey with you—not just through the garments I design, but through this blog, where I will document the process of building a fashion business in honour of my mother’s memory. I hope it inspires others to find their own creative paths, no matter where they begin.
– In loving memory of my mother, whose legacy will forever inspire every stitch.